What I want. What we all want.

     I didn't know what we wanted until I watched Little Women. 

Between he and Christoph Waltz, I may
have a thing for old German men.

     It is the assumption of the general public that I have read all the works of Jane Austen, seen and beloved a great many musicals, and know my way around high fantasy fiction. People assume this like they assume that I am comfortable at parties. In reality, I am neither well read, nor comfortable in large groups of people. I know a little bit about lots of things and my natural body language happens to say to others, "Totally comfortable at this party right now, don't even worry about it," so it's easy to assume that I am supremely confident. 
     Now that you know these two truths about me, let me tell you what I want, what we, all of us, want. 
     When I was, oh, twenty-one? Twenty-two? I watched Little Women for the first time. I have not read it. One of my best friends swore by it as she came from a family of girls who really are familiar with all the classics and supremely confident. I bought the movie for $5 at Target and watched it a few months later when no one else was home. I fell in love. I loved it more than I hated the awkward cry face of Claire Danes. I loved it because I felt just like Jo. Like Jo, I would never be attracted to Christian Bale--why is his mouth like that? She wins the heart of the foreign professor who's all salt and pepper and good with kids. When she got her manuscript back and discovered Professor Bhaer had gotten it published, I, in the midst of writing my first novel, cried instantly.
     The thing that got me in Little Women, the reason I love it so much, is that I feel like I am Jo and more than anyone else in that movie, Jo gets what we all want. Everyone, except poor, dead Danes gets a happy ending...actually, she kind of got what she wanted, too...but Jo is the one who gets what every one of us really deeply wants. It's when Professor Bhaer says, "Oh, Jo. Such a small name for such a person!" 
     In that moment, Jo has been understood. He looked at her and he saw everything she was and everything she wasn't and he loved her. 
     That is what we, all of us, want. To be seen. And known. And loved anyway.