Tuesday, December 27, 2011

*Accidentally in Love: An Experiment in the Immense Use of Hyphens

*Title rights not owned by author, property of that band that did that song for Shrek back in the early 2000’s.

There are a few different ways we love things as humans. One of them is to want to love the things you love. Another is to not really want to love the things you love.
We are who we are and some of us are
 the getters of gear and cog tattoos.
I am a writer. It’s just true. Deep down in the me-est part there is, you will find the same gears and cogs that have cranked up and unwound the best and worst literary minds. These are the gears that told the consequences of feeding friendly, overall-wearing rodents home-baked goods. These gears cranked out the eternally identifiable Elizabeth Bennet. These gears even drove, to the vast dismay of High School Freshman everywhere, William Shakespeare to pen a tale of star-crossed lovers. These gears are in me and they lead me to believe that I love writing.
Imagine my confusion when I would sit down to the computer and find that I did, in fact, have nothing to say, or incoherent things to say, or unimportant things to say, or worst of all, boring things to say. All of these feelings and fears and disabling thoughts made me question if maybe I really didn’t love writing. I found it tedious one day, but exhilarating and fulfilling and the best thing I could do for the rest of my life the next. Writing, it seemed, was a mixed bag of tricks.
A surprisingly fitting example of happily
wanting to love the things ya love.:)
I have learned rather recently that this is the price you pay for being a writer. The price is that for a not small portion of it you have to be miserable. The payback is that you get to absolutely, head-over-heels love all the other portions(editing, polishing, fixing). Another upside is that you end up with something you can share and if you share it with the right people, they might head-over-heels love it, too. (Another writer plus is that you are encouraged to do a really bad job at first. In fact, the bad is where you get your material from. So, suck it up and fail big. You just might win a Newbery.)
All of this writing rambling is to show that you want to love some of the things you love. The thought of not loving writing made me frightened that maybe I wasn’t actually a writer. I was a afraid because I really want that for myself. A good thing too, as I’m stuck with all the gears I got.
Part II comes next. It will contain thoughts on not really wanting to love the things you love--also, I’m gonna bait you here with the promise of pictures of cute kids from my travels. I’m that low. But you are, too. So. See you then.

A Tip from the I-Love-That-I-Love-This-Epiphany: Once you figure out what you love, throw yourself into it with abandon and bravery, because terror adds fun…and material if you are a writer, movie producer, or torture chamber administrative assistant.

--T (Tobias)


4 comments:

  1. Oh Tori! This is sooo true! Except I KNEW I wasn't a writer when God told me to write my book. Now I am struck with the terrible affliction of tearing apart sentences, looking for good grammar (and then finding it doesn't fit my writing style) and being a complete sucker for any wonderful new words that really "show it." LOL!
    Thanks for writing this Tori. I look forward to your blogs now.

    ReplyDelete
  2. ha! oh i so completely identify with your sentiments about writing...it's such a love/hate relationship. good for you for doing it! love you!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thanks very much! I'm glad you liked it as I am now realizing that writing a post about your own relationship with writing is about the most self-indulgent thing you can do, haha. I'm glad we're all in the same boat--smiling naively to each other all the way to our watery graves.

    ReplyDelete
  4. That was to both Nita and Aunty Pam, btw.:)

    ReplyDelete