The Unfair Prayer

I just wish you knew.
I wish you knew what was waiting.
I wish you knew who He was.
I wish the things that drive us to Him didn't hurt so much.
I'm praying that He'll meet you like I've never prayed before because I've never seen one who needed Him so much.
I know broken and I know frightened and I know the kind of pain that feels empty and numb. But I've only ever know those things while also knowing Him. How do you do it? How do you function? I don't ask out of judgement, I ask out of curiosity and fear. Sometimes I'm afraid for you. But, sometimes I'm afraid for me, too.
I also know whenever the rug gets ripped out from under me, I will fall into Him. Where will you fall? What will you hit when you get there?
In my mind I can see His hand catching you in mid air and peace covering your face. But when? How long will you be without it? Is it that you won't go to Him or that He has not shown Himself to you? God listens to the prayers of His people, but isn't everything done in His perfect timing? The knowledge that someday you might remember our conversation and think, "Perhaps I should give that a try," and you get saved then is not good enough this time.
But He is the God of Tonight.
You are my God. You are the God of the hurting. You are the God of the helpless. You are the God of the messed up. You are the God of peace. You are the God of hope which surpasses all understanding. You are God.
And I am Your servant.
And I have a prayer to pick with You.
Do it tonight.
Save tonight.
Reveal Yourself tonight.
Do. Not. Wait.
Because this, having You and watching other people suffer without,
this isn't fair.
And I don't want to do it anymore.